Five Ways to Rediscover Joy - and You

By The Lavender Team

4 minute read

Bills. Strained work relationships. Defiant children. An insecure self-concept.

Sometimes it seems the world has more things for us to be anxious about, rather than to be joyful over.

It’s easy to feel as though anxiety always wins; and that agitation, irritation and frustration are the only guarantees in life. In some ways, this mindset makes sense; after all, we’re all biologically wired to see and focus on what’s negative – what hurts, what stings, what worries – so that we’re protected, long-term, from being hurt again. It’s negativity bias, and it’s a survival tactic that’s kept us alive for as long as we’ve existed.

But while it makes sense, it’s not necessarily true.

Even as deep as anxiety might run, joy is always and ever-present. Sometimes, it just needs to be rediscovered.

In the midst of what might hurt, here are five ways to rediscover joy. 

You may even rediscover what’s even more important: you.

Seek connection

You may have heard this before: people need people.

Because we’re social beings, we need to connect with others, on a variety of different levels, in a variety of ways. Getting and staying connected gives us the emotional support we need – when times are tough and when times are good – so we can cultivate and maintain those very important feelings of belonging.

Ways to create connection are plenty. We can join community or interest groups. We can volunteer. We can call a loved one or friend every day. We can even strike up conversation with a stranger. Small talk doesn’t have to be empty talk; it can be a way to begin new friendships and relationships.

Nurture yourself with nature

Scientists and spiritualists agree that nature is healing.

Philosopher Wayne Dyer once suggested that when one feels anxiety or sadness or disconnection, a beautiful way to restore joy is to plant your feet on grass. There’s something about that connection with the natural world around us, he shared, that can help guarantee a moment (or more) of peace.

The sound of wind, the scent of freshly cut lawns, the sight of trees that have been around long before we have – all of that is restorative. Sunlight has been reported and proven to elevate our levels of serotonin (a feel-good chemical). So the next time you’re feeling just a little down, let nature lift you up.

Participate in a passion

Remember when you were a kid and you loved something so much that you might even have forgotten to eat because you were so excited to do it?

The older we get, the easier it becomes to forget about the activities we love to do, the things that take us away from the stressors of every day. For some, it’s a sport; for others, it’s dancing; for others, it’s art. What is it for you?

When you do something you love, you reignite the spark – and gift to yourself incomparable, unmatched levels of joy. 

Be mindful

Being mindful doesn’t mean having to engage in long, quiet stretches of solitude. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be – and isn’t – yet another “must-do” to add to your already exploding to-do list.

But it is something we encourage you to include in your every day, in the ways that feel good to you.

Mindfulness means being reminded and rooted in the present moment. When we’re anxious, we’re thinking about a tomorrow that hasn’t yet happened, creating stress that is unnecessary and unjustified.

Here’s an easy mindfulness practice that won’t take a lot of time but will result in a lot of relief: try the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Look around you and identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two that you can smell, and one thing you can taste. What this does is divert you from what’s making you anxious and forces you to focus on the present moment.

Try it.

How do you feel?

Greet the day with gratitude

When we’re anxious, we’re likely thinking about all the things that scare us, all the things that could go wrong, all the things we don’t (yet) have.

But when we’re grateful, we look at what we do have, the things we love, the things that make our lives easy, the things that make our lives wonderful and beautiful and full.

And just before you start to think that there’s little to be grateful for, begin within. Are you grateful for your eyes that can see? Your fingers that can scroll your phone? Your legs that carry you each day? Your heart that loves?

Are you grateful for your family? Your friends? Your home? Your job?

Are you grateful for the sun that warms our planet, the wind that keeps us cool, the trees that breathe life for us?

Each morning, write down three things you’re grateful for; repeat the practice before you go to bed.

Before you know it, what will you find?

Joy.